Category Archives: parenting and homeschooling
My heart was sad because his was devastated.
A Facebook remix:
As kids we don’t understand that when we are heartbroken, our parents are twice as heartbroken. I had the chance to experience that this weekend when my son entered into the local pinewood derby. He’d spent hours dreaming and planning and designing – thinking about his ideal car. He and Aaron worked on it, although Aaron mainly let Nate run the show, and Nate was really excited. His face when his car didn’t even make it across the finish line in all four heats?
He sat there like a stone, silently allowing tears to stream down his face. My son is not normally a quiet crier. He will let you know when you’ve done something wrong. He’s sensitive to sounds, textures, and too much visual stimulus. He’s got buttloads of anxiety to the point that after meeting a doctor three minutes earlier, she was already asking if I wanted to medicate him. It was excruciating to sit there and watch as the tears just slid down and he didn’t move and didn’t make a sound.
By the end, we’d convinced him that he had four more shots to make a better car. He has four more pinewood derbys.
This was a very good learning experience for him. He’s not normally able to control emotions or frustration. This was definitely frustrating for him – watching weeks of work culminate in a car that couldn’t even make it to the end. He had been so anxious prior to the event, asking what he was supposed to do if he lost, and saying that he’d better not lose because he would not be happy. That’s code for he would be uncontrollably upset.
He wasn’t. He held in the noise and let out some tears. But he was dejected. He was devastated.
We could have designed the car for him so that it had a better chance at winning, but we let him design it. Learning to handle disappointment is such an important part of childhood…
…But man, it hurts us both. My heart is sad, even as I laugh, knowing that he won’t remember in a few months how devastated he was.
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